12 Great Instrument Jokes for Winter

If you've seen my previous post Best Musician Jokes you know that instrument jokes can get pretty rough. With home heating and fireplace burning season coming around, I thought a few jokes themed around firewood, chainsaws, and burning instruments might either warm your heart or just get you steamed. If you're offended, please come back at me with your own!

Q: What's the difference between a violin and a chainsaw?

A: Only one gets sharper as it goes on.

Q: What's the difference between a baritone sax and a chainsaw?

A: Vibrato--unless you hold the chainsaw really still. Then there's no difference

Q: What's the difference between a trombone and a chainsaw?

A: You can improvise on a chainsaw.

Q: What's the difference between a horn section and a chainsaw?

A: The chainsaw might start when you need it to.

Q: What's the difference between a tuba and a chainsaw?

A: One makes toxic fumes, and should only be used outside. The other is used to cut wood.

Q: What's the difference between a viola and a chainsaw?

A: You can tune a chainsaw.

Q: What's the difference between a piccolo and a chainsaw?

A: One will always cause permanent hearing damage. You can buy a quiet electric chainsaw.

Q: What are burning oboes good for?
A: Lighting bassoons on fire.

Q: What do you call a big stack of clarinets?

A: Kindling.

Q: Why is a viola better than a violin?

A: The viola burns longer.

Q: What's the difference between store bought fireplace logs and guitars?
A: Not much. They're both expensive ways to heat your home.

Q: What's the cheapest way to heat your home?
A: Hire a conductor. They blow plenty of hot air.

Well, there you have it. Stay warm!